Early recovery from substance abuse is very difficult. Recovery is scary for both the addict or alcoholic and the codependent partner. For a recovering addict or alcoholic, it seems impossible to deal with another person’s wants because he already has a lot to deal with. But with that said, it is important for the recovering person to not leave his partner and family behind.

Unfortunately, almost 80 percent of marriages suffer a divorce after the recovery. This is why the non-alcoholic or non-addict partner should learn to take the addiction seriously as a disease to figure out how they can help the recovering addict or alcoholic before he begins the recovery process and after he checks out of a sober house.

Bitterness is a major killer of relationships. Surviving a trying period in your life, particularly helping your partner recover after a bout or repeated bouts with substance abuse, requires learning about control, codependency, and enabling. The first step is accepting the fact that you have a lot to learn.

Communication can be hard for you and your recovering partner because there is a lot of fear in the air. The apprehension may have started the moment your partner checked into a sober house and has not abated even now that he has checked out.

What You Can Do As a Codependent

Is your loved one spending Valentines inside a sober house? If you want your relationship to survive the recovery process, being honest about how you feel will go a long way. It is important for any recovering addict or alcoholic to focus on himself so he won’t relapse. If you are confused and have mixed feelings about the recovery process, try not to burden your partner too much with your emotions but do let him know that you are interested in being part of the recovery process.

You need to realize that deciding to go into rehab or check into a sober house is a huge undertaking. Yes, the recovery process is hard on you but remember that it is always harder for the addict/alcoholic. If you are upset with your partner for deciding to leave detox without telling you, then talk to him about it. Let him know that the two of you are a team and that you would like your opinion to be considered when he makes choices related to his recovery.

Work on understanding your control or codependency issues and sort out your resentments. Make your partner feel that you still respect him despite what he is going through. Assure him that you are still part of his life and that he should not leave you out. You and your partner need to find out if the relationship will survive while he is in rehab or inside a sober house. The two of you can have a future together after recovery if both of you are willing to make the relationship work.