First dates can really be hit or miss, especially for anyone who’s in the process of converting to a life of sobriety. A lot of first dates take place over dinner or a drink at the bar. However, you don’t have to miss out on this kind of first date even if you’re trying to sober up. Follow these tips on sober living and sober dating and you’ll be good as gold.

1. Know that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Anyone who doesn’t respect your privacy on a first date and probes the subject even after you’ve expressed that you aren’t ready to discuss it isn’t the one for you.

2. Understand that just because you don’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t have fun or even go to a bar for a first date. Try a tasty virgin cocktail — they’re just as good, I promise! However, you may want to mentally prepare yourself a bit before you go so it’s easier to resist temptation.

3. If you aren’t comfortable with going to the bar yet or seeing someone that drinks frequently, suggest going on a date somewhere else. Other activities like a picnic in the park or a coffee date can be just as fun, if not more.

4. If you decide that your date went super well and want to invite your new friend back to your place, make sure that they aren’t too drunk to consent. Just because you didn’t drink at all doesn’t mean that they didn’t go a little overboard.

5. No matter if it’s your first date or your 56th date, don’t have a serious conversation when your partner is intoxicated. If you’re trying to take your relationship to the next level or trying to express what you want for the future, choose a date night where your partner isn’t drinking. Nothing good will come from a conversation that is going to be forgotten on one end and not the other.

6. Don’t forget to relax! Steer clear of problem topics such as rehab or addiction, or embarrassing things that happened when you weren’t sober; this will just stir up negative emotions and throw off the whole night.